I know you nerds remember the opening scenes of “The Empire Strikes Back,” where Luke is kidnapped by the snow creature and rescued by Han Solo.
My boy is obsessed with Star Wars right now, so we watched the first film (number IV) this weekend, then started in on V (Empire). I decided you have to watch them in the order they were made, otherwise you already know all the dramatic plot twists, like: “I am your father, Luke.”
Plus, this was the order in which I saw the films, so there.
About an hour after we turned off the DVD player, my boy says, “Mom, you know snow monsters can’t swim.”
“What?” I ask.
“Snow monsters, like the ones who live in Antartica, can’t swim. That snow monster who was gonna eat Luke? If Luke had jumped in the water, the monster couldn’t get him. Remember Rudolph?”
Ahhhh, clarity. The Abdominable Snowman’s fear of water is his undoing. Yes. I didn’t mention to the boy that jumping into frigid water might save you from hydrophobic snow monsters only for the few minutes before you become an ice cube.
I wonder if this has any relevance to the boy’s upcoming swim lessons, which he is not happy about?
Later, when I told the boy that he could watch the second half of The Empire Strikes Back, he said: “Okay, but it’s kind of gross.”
“Why is it gross?” I asked, remembering some of the fight scenes and wondering if they were too gory for a 5-year-old.
“Because the princess kisses Luke Skywalker,” he said. “I don’t like that part.”
Yeah, kissing. Gross. As he watched the second part, I heard a squeal.
“Mommy, mommy. The princess kissed Han Solo too!”
I imagine, if he’d known the right word, he would have been thinking, “That slut!” But we try to avoid name-calling in this house.
