I had two different groups of magazine marketers knock on my front door within an hour of each other tonight.
The first was a pimply white boy who reeked of cigarette smoke and told me that he was selling mag subscriptions, not to win the grand prize of a trip to Hawaii, but to make money to go to art college. I explained to him that I’m environmentally opposed to magazines, which he didn’t get (you know, trees equal paper, postage equals gas consumption, burning fossil fuels equals global warming?). Then he gave me the “you can donate a subscription to a children’s hospital for $57″ line. $57? I sent him on his way.
The next knock was two young African-American women, also selling mag subscriptions, but claiming they work for an organization called Second Chance (not a non-profit, supposedly, but I can’t find it on-line, which makes me a bit suspicious). The women said they’re both single mothers trying to make it. One said she’s 21 and has three kids under the age of six and is a former junkie. Damn!
These girls seemed smart and together, although a bit on the make (they kept complimenting me, which made me feel weird). I gave them $20, signed their piece of paper, and hoped they’re for real.
So, since then, I’ve been Googling magazine marketers, and I haven’t discovered much about whether these folks are for real. Is it just a job or some kind of pyramid scheme? One of the women told me that there are more than 300 companies and organizations sending folks out on the streets to sell subscriptions. It must work. I do think it’s more difficult to say no to someone standing at your front door than to that same person on the phone.
So how do y’all handle door-to-door marketers? Do you listen to their stories? Do you turn them away immediately unless they’re Girl Scouts?
What about the political lobbyists? I’m more likely to talk to folks about politics, particularly if they’re on my team. Last week a young guy knocked and then handed me a flier about some dude running for state office. I glanced at the flier, read the words “conservative Republican” and said to him: “I’m never going to vote for one of those. Why do you give this to someone else?” He was nice about it and thanked me for my honesty.
In truth, I don’t like strangers coming to my front door. It makes me nervous and uncomfortable. I’m torn between my ingrained politeness and my “don’t tread on me” mentality. I think I’d be most comfortable greeting strangers at my front door with a pecan pie in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
Unfortunately, unless the blinds are down, people coming up my front walk can see straight into my living room, so I can’t pretend I don’t see them. Nor do I have time to hide. Part of me wants to be crotchety and tell them to leave me alone, especially when it’s dinner time. But I’m too nice. Plus everyone’s somebody’s baby. Even if they’re on the make.
Share This
I hope for you they are for real. I think I had heard about something similar that happened in VA that was a scam. Not sure if it was magazine subscriptions — but I remember the person giving a story about being a non-profit but in reality it was a scam. It could just be me thinking of an urban legend.
I have a friend who, in college, greeted a group of Jehova’s Witnesses wearing boxers, invited them in and sat them down in front of his coffee table covered in bizarre porn, pot and Astroglide…
Solicitors are one of the reasons why I own a noisy dog. Not many are resilient enough to listen to her go at the door for long. And, if I am in the mood to listen to someone, she makes her presence known with small sharp barks and growls behind me.
They might be for real, but their stories likely are not. They are the people who answered the ad in then newspaper looking for folks who want to live a “Rock and Roll” lifestyle. They travel the country, are abused by their managers, party hard and left on the side of the road when they decide they don’t want to do it anymore or their managers decide they aren’t selling enough. Great story in the Dayton paper a couple of years ago on this. I just say no and shut the door.
That’s easy. 6 dogs.
Well that worked well in GA (we had 7 back then).
Now we live on the end of a dead-end gravel road out in the middle of nowhere. The only people that come out here are our friends, the UPS and post office folks, and people who’s GPS units tell them that the road doesn’t actually dead-end.
On the serious side, Catnap is exactly right about this. Used to happen all the time in NJ and in ATL.
I had a guy last year who gave me the same song and dance, dad in prison for drugs and he’s working this beat to save money for college. He even had a picture of his infant child he left behind. Of course, this may all be true, but I’ve heard the same stuff Catnap wrote. Trust your instict. Just say no- it’s ok. And it is fine not to answer your door, even if they have seen you!
My fave story of a stranger coming to the door in Asheville. It was Sat evening about 10pm and knock on the door - we thought it was one of the neighbors. Turned out it was a guy who was holding a weedeater and wanted to know if we wanted to buy it. We said no thank you and locked the door. Never did find out which neighbor the guy stole that from.
S.C.,
With the kids around, I keep the bizarre porn, pot and Astroglide well hidden.
Laura & Frank,
My dog was freaking out on the other side of the door, but at 12 pounds, he’s not very intimidating.
Catnap,
I want to see that article. I’ve been searching for a relevant story to no avail.
Here is one from the NYT which I frequently confuse with the Dayton Daily News.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/21/us/21magcrew.html?n=Top/Reference/Times%20Topics/Subjects/M/Media
Thanks, Catnap. Great article! So sad, really.
I understand how you could confuse the NYT with the Dayton Daily News.
Pecan pie in one hand and a shotgun in the other. What a perfect image. Glad I woke up today.
I like to toy with people coming to the door. Magazine scammers are likely to get the Steve Martin “vomit on your money” treatment, which always works. Especially on spaghetti day.
It’s usually pretty easy to shock the pushy religiosos. Just match their crazy talk with equally offensive statements (”How does God only have one child after all these years? Does he use a condom or just watch a lot of golf?). They eventually get the crazy eyes and go away.
I’m always tempted to throw scripture at them — as a rule, they do not have a good grasp of the texts, other than the isolated verses that they think condemn homosexuality and/or Bill Clinton — but have found that they tend to get VERY ANGRY when you know more Bible than they do.
Never ever try to convince them that the King James translation is based on inferior corrupted sources. Bah, the outrage!
I’m very nice to Girl Scouts, who reward my good behavior with Thin Mints. Nice business plan, I must say.
LDS Missionaries & Jehovas Witnesses get good treatment too, mostly because they’re generally sooooo nice. Never let ‘em through the door, though, ‘cuz it takes 4 hours to get ‘em back out.
-J