Dec 31

In these last hours of 2006, I offer you a list of great movies from…2005.

I ran my friend Bob’s top ten movie list from 2004, now I give you his list from 2005. When will we get 2006, Bob?

Without further ado, here’s Bob:

OK, OK, it’s almost the end of 2006 and the top ten list for the movies of 2006 are showing up all over the place. I was actually going to send a list of the top ten reasons why I have not completed this list. Of course, so many times I feel there’s a movie out there that might earn a spot on the list. This year I thought Woody Allen’s “Match Point” would do that. With it’s nomination for best screenplay and my affinity for his work, it seemed likely that it would have a chance. Well, it’s an excellent film but not a top ten candidate for this year.

So before 2006 stops playing, let’s get in one more dance.

As always, this list is subject to change as years go by.

#10 Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Wererabbit
These two characters have dominated the short subject animated film category for years which amazes me because Gromit never speaks. I’ve never actually been able to even detect a change in Gromit’s expression yet still he conveys a feeling by simply looking at the situation. The film’s plot stems from Wallace, the inventor, developing a way to change the behavior of rabbits that had been damaging neighborhood vegetables. He succeeds but a flaw in the process leaves him taking on the attributes of rabbits. Anyone familiar with Wallace would know that he never eats vegetables but loves cheese. The most touching point in the movie is when the expressionless Gromit hugs Wallace. Well, actually the most touching point for me was sitting next to my daughter, Gabriela Elizabeth Jones. This was her first movie and, yes, she stayed through the credits.

#9 The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
I guess this would be described as a “small” film and it certainly received mixed reviews from critics and didn’t last long at the box office. With all of the attention that illegal immigration got this past year, it would seem that people would have been talking about this movie all year long. But then, it isn’t really about illegal immigration. It’s about Melquiades Estrada and the promise made to him by the Tommy Lee Jones character. It’s also about revenge. And, ultimately, it’s about forgiveness. Yes, it’s a small movie but it accomplishes some great things.

#8 Yes
Any film that is done completely in verse will certainly get recognition from me for boldness if for nothing else. Not only is the film in verse, it’s pretty much in iambic pentameter throughout. From the opening scene where the maid discourses on the dust that she cleans up around our lives to the main characters named “He” and “She”. Wait, there’s more. She is a rich, white and unhappily married western woman played by Joan Allen. “He” is a poor Muslim from Lebanon. They first meet at a dinner party where he is serving the rich party folks. On the other hand, he was a surgeon in Lebanon and now is a cook in London. They are sexually attracted to each other-Yes this movie is very erotic. The two cultures attract and clash at the same time. This is one of the most daring, innovative movies that you’ll see anytime.

#7 Capote
With a good script and a great performance, this movie gives us a wonderful character story. In some ways, this movie is misnamed. The title implies the traditional biopic. A more accurate title would be “The Writing of In Cold Blood” but I’m not sure how that would play on the marquee. On the other hand, by narrowing the focus of the main character to this one event, I felt I got a very real sense of the “life” of Truman Capote. Through talk shows and gossip columns, he became known to people who never read his books at all. This film lets us know that the shallow surface this writer gave the world hid one incredibly sensitive and gifted writers. One of the best Christmas stories is his “A Christmas Memory”.

#6 The Constant Gardener
Originally, Hollywood wanted John Le Carre to rewrite his novel and not have it take place in Africa. To his credit, he refused. So we get this suspenseful film that connects the health industry with the poverty of Africa. The acting in this film is superb but the main stars are the people in the African villages. And, of course, they are also the victims in this story. The moral questions raised by this film are immense and one we all will struggle with as the people on the other side of the Globe step out of the pages of National Geographic and become our neighbors.

#5. A History of Violence
This story of one individual’s violent past can also be a metaphor for our country as well. We may proclaim peace as our object but not facing our own violent past is what gets us back into the Vietnams and the Iraqs. And how often is the peace we get based on the violent acts of the past? This may be a fast forward approach to this movie. On another level, it’s the story of our hero who has tried to obliterate his violent past by running a local diner. He is everyone’s Mister Nice Guy. Two people come into his diner threatening customers and he goes on automatic pilot taking both of them out and becoming a small town hero. The attention brings in those people from his violent past and all those who know him begin to question who it is they know. The scenes between him and his wife near the end of the film speaks volumes although barely a word is spoken.

#4. Walk the Line
Great performances by Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix give us the Johnny Cash/June Carter story. The title is from his hit song “I Walk the Line” but it brought back memories of the Rolling Stone cover article on him years ago entitled “He Walks the Line”. He was the first performer to sing on one of Bob Dylan’s albums and he wrote the liner notes for Dylan’s Nashville Skyline album. My personal memories of Johnny Cash come from a performance when I was a student at Virginia Tech. He was doing a fund raiser for the local student radio classical music station. His concert was at the end of a semester that had been saturated with great concerts by big name artists so attendance was low. With no fanfare, he waived his fee totally and even contributed to the station. His performances at Folsom and San Quentin prisons are legendary. He once spoke of prisoners saying that they should certainly be punished for the crimes they committed but that all of us outside need to remember that we are all children of God. With all of the heat that rap music gets these days for its violent lyrics, Johnny Cash still has one of the best lines in country music from his Folsom Prison Blues-”I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.” As the title says, he walked the line.

#3. Good Night and Good Luck
Filmed in black and white, I was back in my childhood living room. We got our first TV when I was 7 years old. It was 1953 and we watched TV every night. The following morning or at the next evening’s dinner table, we discussed everything we saw from comedies to dramas to news. I remember Edward R. Murrow on television but I dont’ remember the particular episode that is at the center of this film. However, I do remember the family discussions that went on for weeks afterwards. Although neither of my parents ever made it to high school, they were both very well read. My mother would have been labeled a socialist/communist sympathiser except that her kindness and her strange expressions were endearing to all. My father was not a socialist, communist nor much of a sympathiser except that he was married to my mom and loved her for all of that. So those discussions went on and on and gave me the framework for much of my political philosophy today. Thanks to this film for giving me that brief visit with mom and dad around that dinner table of so long ago.

#2 Brokeback Mountain
So much has been written about this film and it created so much political controversy that I felt this tender story of unrequited love got lost in the shuffle. These two characters described by Annie Prioux as a “couple of deuces going nowhere” find love for each other in a world that does not permit that love. They struggle to make a go of it in the straight world but they cannot deny the attraction they have for each other. It saddened me to read of the number of theaters that refused to show this movie while having no problems with showing movies like Saw II and other gory films. Then that is the subtext of this movie. Our society doesn’t want any of our gay cousins showing up at the family reunion. I saw this movie twice here in Asheville, this city I love. Both times, the house was packed. I loved being surrounded by that community and sharing seeing this movie with my neighbors.

#1 Crash
Cultures collide with each other in Los Angeles in a complex set of story lines intertwined with these characters. It was a movie where I felt they held nothing back but ventured into the ways that the differences in our society collide. The collision causes the “crash” that often has tragic consequences but the “crash” is also creating something new in our society because these pieces of our social fabric are ever changing. This film got people talking about everything. I spent many years trying to ignore the differences in others, trying to find that common ground that connects us all. I still do that but this film gave me the permission to actually look again for the differences in others. Despite all of the issues about tolerance raised by this movie, I felt similar to way I felt after Brokeback Mountain. I live in the most diverse country in the world. Ethnic, racial, religious, country of origin–the USA has the greatest range of these than any other country in the world. At the end of this film, I was glad to be part of the “mix” and I’m glad that I live here. I wanted to start hugging everybody. This film should be required viewing for any diversity training course.

Whew, I just got under the wire for this year. Now, where’s your top ten list?

Cinematically yours,

Bob Falls
Poetry Alive! Inc

Dec 29

I never say no.

At least not to the offer of a free book.

So when my contact at Blogads offered me a copy of a new novel, pursuant to the book being advertised on my bloggie, I said, “Yes, thanks! Mail it to me.”

The publisher’s hope in offering free copies, of course, was that I read the novel and write a positive review of it that they could excerpt on their website when the book goes on sale January 2nd.

Unfortunately, the novel, Sun Kissed by Catherine Anderson, is a romance novel.

I have been known to read and even like romance novels, at least those that have historical pretensions such as the page-turners of Victoria Holt (when I was 13) and Diana Galbadon. But romances are not my typical choice of reading entree. Or even dessert.

But I thought I’d try reading Sun Kissed because 1) the cover is subtle and doesn’t scream “cheesy romance inside;” 2) across the top of the book are the words “New York Times Bestselling Author;” and, 3) this book is part of Penguin Books’ new “Great Read Guaranteed” series (if you aren’t 100 percent satisfied with the story, you can send the book back to the publisher and get your money refunded, although only before March 2nd).

On a recent ride to Atlanta, I cracked Sun Kissed. After ten pages, I was hanging my head out the window, sucking in icy cold air. After twenty, my Coke was being regurgitated into my mouth. After 25 pages, I stopped reading and turned on some loud dance music. Eventually, Beyonce settled my stomach.

People (okay, my mother) are always telling me I could write this kind of novel. But, in truth, I couldn’t. I could plot it. I could create characters with depth. I could paint in bits of foreshadowing and subplot. But I couldn’t write with such nauseating cliche. Not even if you held a hot poker to the back of my neck and threatened to brand me with one of the following phrases: “what she saw made her blood run hot;” “the metallic taste of fear coated Samantha’s tongue;” “her heart pounding wildly and her body going clammy with sweat;” “he let loose a snarl of outrage;” “a lady no bigger than a minute;” “her sun-kissed, ivory complexion put him in mnd of peaches drizzled with cream;” and “he was handsome in a rugged way.”

I just can’t even go on. I’m sorry. The words just make me want to stuff cheap candy into my mouth until I’m dizzy with a corn syrup-spiked blood surge.

Can you say predictable? Can you say cliche-ridden and overwrought? Can you say gag?

Typically, I don’t like to diss other writers, and I certainly don’t want to piss off a major book publisher, given that I’d like to have a novel published one day, but, damn, I’m disappointed that Ms. Anderson is a best-selling author. I’m sure she’s a nice person and works hard on her drivel, but surely she could write a romance without resorting to phrases that have been written over and over and over and over and over and over?

I decided to skip through and see if I could at least find a decent sex scene. But over two-thirds of the way through the book, I found a paragraph indicating that our heroine was still only fantasizing about KISSING our hero, whom she met on page five. I mean, what the hell has been going on for the past 288 pages? Just fricking loaded eye contact and heaving breasts? At this point, I tossed the book into the back seat.

I guess there’s some sort of formula to this type of story–the meet cute, the conflict, the growing interest thwarted by external circumstances, the climax where the protags don’t climax, but merely kiss and express their undying love for one another. Ugh, I’m feeling nauseated again.

I guess I need to learn to say no. Even to free books. Anyone want a copy of a soon-to-be bestselling romance novel that I can’t stomach?

Dec 28


…a little bit of snow the day after Christmas in Ashvegas.

Dec 26

On Christmas Day, I was the lucky recipient of many lovely giftees from various family members and friends. Thank you all!

Thanks, in particular, for the chocolate. I received an amazing supply of dark chocolate from both of my sisters, E-spouse, one brother-in-law, Santa, and my kids. I, thus, conclude, that one of the following must be true: 1. I need to gain weight; 2. these folks know I love chocolate and have no idea what else to give me; 3. I’ve been particularly irritable recently and we all know that chocolate equals Prozac.

I also received a couple unusual giftees. I can’t decide which is the most unusual, so I’m going to let you decide.

First is this handmade bag that my MIL gave me:


Yes, that’s a photograph of lizards having, uh, sexual relations, on the bag. My MIL said she thought it was edgy. And it is. But what, exactly, does it mean when your MIL gives you a bag featuring geckos getting grungy?

Unusual giftee number two from my sister, A:


No, we have not recently discovered that we are descended from ancient Chinese royalty. Those flip flops are called Shape-up Shoes. Among other things, these magic shoes can tone your legs, burn extra calories (from eating all that chocolate), put junk in yo trunk, and, most likely, land you in the hospital with a broken ankle where Dr. Dreamy will sweep you away (of course, he’ll have to carry you).

Here’s a close-up view:

I tottered around the house on these babies for about 1/2 an hour today, and I do admit, my calf muscles got a nice stretch. But now my lower back is killing me.

So, which giftee wins the most unusual prize? And can you top it?

Dec 24

I took this photo at the Mayaguez Resort and Casino in Puerto Rico. I call it “Security Tree.”

My house is quiet, for the moment. In about an hour, 11 adults and four children will be here. The beef bourgignon is slow cooking in the oven. I’m praying the the meat isn’t going to be tough and stringy. I do have lots of salad and bread, so if the bourgignon sucks, at least my guests will have SOMETHING to eat. I also have lots of libations, including the yummy Cold Mountain Ale. Which, I think, I am going to have with my shower right now. Nothing beats a steamy shower with a cold beer–well, a steamy shower with a soapy, well-built man, perhaps. But, today, the beer will have to do. After today, all I have to do is show up, at my in-laws, a few times. I’m not traveling or entertaining or gift wrapping. I’ll be able to exercise and hang with the kids, and, maybe, read some. That will be a delight. I can’t wait until tomorrow.

Merry, happy Christmas to you and yours if you’re celebrating. If not, happy day off!

Dec 21


1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
EM: Egg nog, with lots o brandy.
2. Letter to Santa?
EM: Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is you! Bring that whip you use with the reindeer, kay? I’ve been naughty this year, but I’ll be nice for you.
And lots of chocolate, please.
xoxoxo, EM
3. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
EM: Depends on whether you’re talking to me or to E-spouse. Also depends on how late I’m willing to stay up on Christmas Eve.
4. Colored lights on your tree/house or white?
EM: Multi-colored, baby.
5. Do you hang mistletoe?
EM: No, it hangs me.
6. When do you put your decorations up?
EM: As soon as I’ve finished digesting the turkey.
7. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
EM: Lobster tails with butter.
8. Favorite holiday memory as a child:
EM: Christmas morning at my grandparents’ house. It was like walking into a toy store for me and my cousins.
9. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
EM: What truth?
10. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
EM: YES! The biggest one under the tree.
11. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
EM: I have no idea what this question means. Naked while drinking rum punch? With lights and ornaments?
12. Can you ice skate?
EM: Yes, shakily.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
EM: Lucy, the new Honda Accord I got when I was 22. I drove that car for 16 years, then sold her, and E-spouse recently spotted her in the Asheville airport parking lot.
14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?
EM: Being with family and friends and, in particular, my kidlings.
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
EM: Peppermint ice cream with chocolate sauce.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
EM: Drinking mimosas for breakfast on Christmas day.
17. What tops your tree?
EM: A multi-pointed gold star.
18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?
EM: Both.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
EM: Feliz Navidad.
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
EM: Yum. Particularly the soft King Leos dipped in dark chocolate.

Dec 20

I know many of you have seen this already, but it just makes me sooooo happy! Thanks, Theseus, for the linkee!

Dec 19

Today I received a CASE of one-liter bottles of the delectable and much sought after Cold Mountain Winter Ale, a winter seasonal from our local boys at Highland Brewing Company.

Our dear friend Ashvegas, in a moment of unusual lack of precognition, made bets with a couple of us local bloggers about the outcome of the 11th District Congressional race, which was back in November (remember? o yes!).

Ash was wrong, so wrong, in his prediction. I was right, so right. I’d offer Heath Shuler a bottle of my brew for helping me win it, but he doesn’t drink. Screwy, who earned a sexy love letter from AV, was also right on the mark in his gambling.

I popped the first liter bottle of Cold Mountain tonight and let the chocolate raspberry, cinnamon-laced brew tickle my nose before I took that first cold sip. The Ale says malt and Christmas and sweet warm alcohol in my tummy, all at once.

So, sorry, Ash, that you lost our wager. But thanks, dude, for paying up. And for helping get me through the holiday season by floating through in mellow amber.

Dec 18

We haven’t heard from my loverly cousins Libs and Wozie in many months.

Not sure how much she wants me to share, but Wozie has had a tough year. You know she is tougher than her year has been, though.

I’ll see both crazy chicks this Friday and Saturday at the extendo Family Christmas Par-tay in Hotlanta, followed by our annual cuz lunch.

I did exchange e-mails with Libs the other day and thought I’d share, because, well, she’s so damn cute. And she loves to paint me as a total hippie freak. And, surprisingly, it seems that my mind is dirtier than hers!

Some idiot, who should be castrated with a corkscrew, broke into Libs’ house and STOLE her computer, so she’s been trying to find addresses, e-mail and otherwise.

So she e-mails me: “Well, you see, had I been able to pull up your blog I would have known that you were out of town, but not knowing the address, well….there’s the rub. Using the pea size brain I was born with, I decided to try www.edgymama.com - and it worked! Am I a rocket scientist or what? - do NOT answer that question!

In any case, just wanted you to know that had I not known better I’d have sworn I was behind your car in traffic today. Amidst the lovely collection of bumper stickers were: “MY OTHER CAR IS A BROOM”, “WOULD JESUS HAVE VOTED FOR WAR?” and last, but not least, “SAVE THE EARTH - EAT YOUR SPROUTS”. I do not even pretend to understand that last one - in fact, I’d be embarrassed if I did. All this to say - looking forward to seeing you over Christmas!
Your favorite and loving cousin,
Libs”

I replied: “hey libs,
sorry your puter got lifted. that sucks.

seems that you found my e-mail address. I have a couple. you so smart!

EAT YOUR SPROUTS is totally innocent, you dirty-minded girl.

can’t wait to see you next weekend.

xoxoxo,
af”

She said: “now I’m trying to think of something dirty it could mean!”

BTW, I only have two bumper stickers on the Baby Beluga (Honda Civic Hybrid). One reads: “Asheville: Where Normal is Weird” and the other says “Vote Heath Shuler.” Bit of a conflict there, I know, but such is me.

Dec 17

One of my favorite parts of our Puerto Rico trip was our day in Old San Juan. It’s like visiting a small Spanish city with tropical flair. The old town reminds me a bit of Charleston with the brightly colored and shuttered facades of the homes and businesses.

I loved the paint colors on the buildings. I need to do some interior repainting and was inspired by Old San Juan. I’m thinking of this burnt peach color for my living room. Looks great with the white trim, doesn’t it?

Our friend, Chris Columbus “discovered” Puerto Rico in either 1492 or 93 (plaques in the city give both dates). The aboriginals, the Taino Indians, were all killed off by the Spanish, who established the city of San Juan in 1508. So, today’s islanders are of Spanish/European and/or African ancestry. Like the Piratas, the Taino are romanticized (the place we rented snorkeling gear in Rincon is called Taino Divers).

I’m standing in front of el Morro, the giant fort at the Northwest headland of San Juan. It’s magnificent–a long sweep of cropped green grass culminating in the turreted stone fort and backed by blue sky and spray-tossed dark ocean. The fort was stormed by the Brits and the Dutch unsuccessfully, then “taken” by the U.S. in 1898 during the Spanish-American war (why P.R. is a “colony” of sorts).

Are you getting tired of P.R. tales and photos yet? Soon I’ll upload the majority of my photos to Flickr and just stop nattering on about my vaca.

In other news, I’m tired from spending a couple of hours crawling pubs in Ashvegas with some of the Blogashevillians and Drinking Liberally libs. Photos on BA. We’re such a cute bunch of nerds, aren’t we?

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