Edgy Mama

Bubble scrum

We spent all day yesterday at the magical LEAF festival, which takes place twice per year at loverly Camp Rockmont in Black Mountain, NC.

The music was excellent, the atmosphere relaxing, the day fricking gorgeous, and we all are TIRED today.

Because I can post photos again, here are a few. Ash’s will be better, I’m sure–he’ll have shots of adult performers and adults, whereas I have the kid perspective covered.

UNC-A students perform a spirited Lorax. The narrator was excellent, despite a crackly mic. The Lorax was pretty good, but had not memorized his ten or so lines and kept referring to a cheat sheet in his hand. Hell, my kids know your lines, Lorax!

Really cute young guys wearing funny hats and singing songs about circles in the kids’ tent.

“It’s vile. It’s more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction.” –Ex.-Rep. Mark Foley, in 1998, on Bill Clinton.

Thanks, Eddo!

See, even Houdini doesn’t want me to leave the house to write.

My boy today said, “I’m thinking about why you love your computer so much.”

I said, “It’s my work, my hobby, my solace…ummmmm, I do love it. But not as much as I love you!”

Happy weekend, all.

Dudes FINALLY updated their website. Check it out. Makes me laugh.

I got this e-mail from Chusy Jardine (timestamp: 1:58 a.m.), the director, writer, producer, editor, masochistic Venezuelan, crazee man, who got me to dress up like a waitress and say the same five lines 800 times over 14 hours while sweating like a redneck on a summer joyride.

I’ll let his e-mail speak for him:

hi anne. so f-ing busy. i need a colostomy bag.
i’m thinking of installing a toilet in front of the computer so i can edit all day long. i knew this girl that would eat on the toilet to save time. she was obsessed with productivity. we broke up because she’d use phrases like, “i’m not having a productive day.”
that said, i’m doing about 17 hours per day and my legs are swollen. the material is outstandinginourowndamnfieldeatingmushrooms good. i f-ing love it. translation? 83% of the people who see it will be aghast and burst into fits of apoplexy and paroxysm. i’m rushing to make festival deadlines.
all is well as i hope it is with you. did you meet the writer from asheville that came by with a fancy novel? can you enlighten me? people tell me i should meet people, but i don’t have the time. friend of mine (who started writing when she was 45) just got published in the new england review journal thingamajiggy. i think she wrote about me in the story. buy the journal when it comes out, okay? her name is jan pendleton and i did not sleep with her.
okay, besos, all the best. can’t wait to show you when i’m ready.holy f-ing shit. it is good.

chusy

I love this guy. More news on ATM as I get it. Not sure if any part of the movie will be shown at the Asheville Film Festival, although I’ll be hobnobbing with writers the weekend of the fest, so I’ll miss the whole fracking scene. I think Jennifer Tilly is the “star” who is gracing us with her presence. Who is she anyway? You’d hope we could get at least a B lister to show up. But, then, we always have Andi.

is offering up some of her recent “fluff and buff” journalistic writing for your reading pleasure today:

Wanna read about the trend in high-end log and timber frame homes in Western North Carolina?

Or about a new Green Bed and Breakfast in Ashvegas?

Or see some adorable photos of little girl ballerinas and read about the Asheville Arts Center, our local performing art school?

If not, scroll down and read Amy Guth’s interview, if you haven’t already.

I’ve been writing lots for the local noos paper–there’s more, but the stories above are at least somewhat intriguing. And I’m done with the linking. And I still can’t post photos. Cuss. Cuss. Cuss.

As always, I try to bring you the edgiest in women and writing (even if it’s frequently just me).

Today, we have sexy writer Amy Guth visiting EM (I planned on posting her photo, but not only is this screwy blog not letting me load photos, now nothing at all happens when I click on the photo icon. Arrrrgh. You can visit Amy’s website or bloggie to see how hawt she is. She’s got those smart girl glasses that are so chic and sexee).

In addition to sex appeal, the girl’s got write. Amy’s novel, Three Fallen Women, is now available. I haven’t read the book yet, although it sounds like my kind of read (hint, hint, Amy).

Amy describes herself as “urbanite, smart-ass, feminist, anti-socialite.” Hmmmm, sounds familiar. And we totally heart chicks with attitude, don’t we?

Here’s how Amy describes her novel: “Three Fallen Women peers in on three women – a frustrated painter newly-aware after a breakdown; a heroin addict whose organs are attempting to warn her she’s dying; and a woman who finds serious catharsis in prostitution, castrations and mercy kills – as they individually fall apart, reconstruct, rinse, lather, repeat.”

While you’re waiting for your copy of this clearly twisted book to arrive, you can satiate yourself by reading Amy’s bloggie, Big Mouth Indeed Strikes Again.

What you won’t find out on her website (which is almost as intriguing as her Big Mouth) is that Amy was born in Ashvegas and lived here for the first few months of her life. She still visits family in AV. So, next time she’s in town I can have a fangirl moment when I run into her at Izzy’s (cause you just know that’s the only place that’s cool enough for her).

On to the interview. Read it and learn why Amy doesn’t wear pants when she’s writing (stop salivating, boys).

EM: As a fallen woman myself, I immediately identified with your novel’s title. Why did you chose to write about fallen women and do you consider yourself one?

AG: Every time I think it would have been romantic or simpler to have lived years and years ago, I remind myself that I would have been called a fallen woman and likely burned at the stake. I don’t think I am a fallen women. But, that probably means that I really am one, hm? (laughs) No, no. There is a line in the novel, about an action done for “the voices of millions of fallen women who never mustered the ovaries to fly away.”

In this context, I think the fallen women are bullied women, and specifically, women who can’t or won’t stand up and enforce their boundaries, for whatever reason. At the time I started writing this novel, I became very aware of a lot of women like that and started exploring that in writing. Joke was on me, a question turned into a novel!

EM: A lot of writers and wanna-be writers read my bloggie, do you have any publishing advice for us?

AG: Good question. I think the writing industry is like having healthy finances. Diversify! Write for different places, some online, some in print, a little of this, a little of that, and get some variety in your portfolio. Oh, and, make a game out of rejection letters and they won’t sting a bit. I heard a story about a man who wallpapered his bathroom with them. I used to attack them with a red pen and laughed my ass off every time by how many grammatical and usage errors were in them! Best line ever: “But best lucks finding a suitabler more publisher.” Ummm…

EM: Describe your writing schedule, writing rituals, writing space–or anything really weird about how, when, and where you write.

AG: Oh man, you’re going to make fun of this. I write to music and can’t bear to wear pants while writing. Let me back up. When I find a song that works for me on a given day, I put it on repeat and write to it until I can’t stand it for a while. I wrote Three Fallen Women to three songs only, one at a time over and over! And, while I write, and while I sleep for that matter, I can’t stand having fabric bunching around my knees. I had a knee injury a few years ago that left my left knee wimpy and sensitive, so…yeah. Pants all day long are fine, but when writing or sleeping, it’s shorts or a skirt/slip. No way around it.

EM: If you could come back in your next life, as any woman who has lived, who would it be (please ignore the inherent timeline problems of this question)?

AG: Hmm… Can I be future Lisa Simpson, to, you know, really confuse things…?

…one blogger at a time.

About a year ago (July 27, 2005), I wrote a rant exhorting all of you to exchange your inefficient, enviromentally-sucky incandescent light bulbs for more efficient, world-saving lighting technology.

Some of you did (hurrah, Chelsea Girl!). Some of you didn’t (dumbAsh).

So, here’s the deal…AGAIN. What is the easiest, quickest thing you can do to make a difference for the world’s future AND save yourself money in the process? Change a fricking light bulb. Change all of them. Most of them. Wanna be a modern-day superhero? Change a light bulb. Tell a joke while you’re at it, but change it, PLEASE!

Flourescent lightbulbs are now available most places (here in Ashvegas, you can get them at Ingle’s, Ace Hardware, Home Depot, Lowe’s, Sam’s Club, Wal-Hell, even Eckerd’s). Anywhere there are light bulbs for sale, there are usually EFFICIENT, but more expensive, bulbs available. These bulbs emit a pleasant, warm light. They fit most any light or lamp fixture. They do not BUZZ. There are a variety of sizes, shapes, and wattages for different fixtures and needs.

Most of them have a little Energy Star logo. We HEART this logo. It is a good, yummy logo that means even by being consumers we are saving the world from global castastrophe.

The reason these highly efficient bulbs are more expensive is because buying them is what’s called a front-end cost. You pay more today for savings in the long run (if you like this idea, lemme tell you all about solar panels!).

For every ONE flourescent, you will save 500 pounds of coal over the lifetime of the bulb. That is 1/4 of a TON of coal! Say you go to Home Depot right now and buy a six-pack of compact flourescents and replace six of your existing incandescents. You have just saved $120 (woohoo!) AND you have saved 1 1/2 tons of coal from being burnt in the fiery depths of a noxious gas-spewing power plant. Hurrah you!

Here are some stats from the U.S. Department of Energy and Energy Information Administration for those of you who need further convincing:

Bulb type 100W Incandescent 23W Compact Flourescent
Purchase price $0.75 $7.00
Life of the bulb 750 hours 10,000 hours
Number of hours burned/day 4 hours 4 hours
Number of bulbs needed About 12 over 6 years 1 over 6.8 years
Total cost of electricity
(8 cents/kilowatt-hour) $35.04 $8.06

Total savings over three years with the Compact Flourescent: $25.50

October 4th was national ENERGY STAR Change a Light Day, and October and November are energy-efficient lighting promotion months. So if you need a month to tell you to change a fricking lightbulb, here’s your big chance. The City of Asheville is looking to get 1,000 light bulbs changed during this time. Which, I say, is tiny potatoes. Us bloggas can do better.

UPDATE:
I just realized that the survey below is kind of fun, but I want more specific information. So, if you really are changing bulbs, leave me a comment and the number of bulbs. Let’s get some real data and we’ll come up with some incentives!

UPDATE #2: I took down the survey, because it looked bad and because you couldn’t see the results without voting. Dumb.

So the results were:
12 for I’m saving the world big. Three or more bulbs changed.
2 for I suck and I don’t care.

Interesting, no?

I’ll be blogging this some more this week. There are some intriguing issues and questions being raised in the comments!

A couple days ago, I got a sweet e-mail from Fliss wherein she flattered me mightily and then asked if I’d consent to be interviewed by CNN at the weekly Drinking Liberally do.

A CNN reporter and cameraman have been following congressional candidate Heath Shuler around for a one-hour show on, I believe, his race to D.C. Not surprisingly, the incumbent, Charles Taylor, has refused to talk to the “liberal” media. But, I, of course, agreed, with audacity.

So, I brushed my hair, put on some mascara, and sat outside one of my favorite bars and babbled into the microphone of this cute girl reporter (did anyone get her name?). As did several of my articulate and much more politically astute cronies.

I can’t remember what I said, except I made a smartass remark, which will probably be the only line excerpted in the final program. I said something like, “Yea, Charles Taylor brings home the bacon, but unfortunately, he eats most of it himself.” Gag me, please.

I talked about the environment and Shuler’s proactive stance, which really, for me, is the biggest issue in this campaign. In any campaign. In the world. Because, really, if climate change continues to release catastrophe on a global scale, we won’t have to worry about whether or not Roe v. Wade gets overturned or how our education and healthcare dollars are being spent, says Ms. Doom and Gloom.

Supposedly, the show will air on CNN on October 24. Someone will have to tape it for me, because I am, as always, sans cable.

For “a loyal reader” and others of you who have been waiting with bated breath, I give you, ta-da, a mini-synopsis of my novel-in-progress (I know I’m supposed to have a circumflex mark above the “u” in “gout,” but I can’t make it work in gd Blogger).

Secrets in Cyberspace: An Edgy Mama Mystery
by Anne Fitten Glenn

When Anonymous says…“Last night, I murdered my best friend,” in a comment on Edgy Mama’s blog, it sends the freelance writer and sexy mother of two on a quest to find Anonymous or, at least, a decent skim latté.

When bodies start turning up in her hometown of Asheville, N.C., Jamie, aka Edgy Mama, who doesn’t know a handgun from a hair dryer, starts investigating a killer the media have dubbed “The Cyberstalker.”

Is Anonymous the Cyberstalker? A prankster? Or is Anonymous admitting to another murder altogether? And if Anonymous is the Cyberstalker, is he or she after Edgy Mama?

In order to prove that her journalistic skills aren’t just fluff and buff, EM tracks down answers with the help of her tattooed and metal-studded babysitter, her overworked and overprotective editor at the local newspaper, Rule, the benevolent dictator of the local blogger community, and a passel of cute construction workers she meets at the coffee shop.

Real life constantly interrupts EM’s investigations, tossing at her a vomiting kid, a cat stuck in her HVAC system, menopause, a sister living through hell, and a fender bender with a 90-pound housewife driving a SUV.

P.S. This story, character, and every fricking other thing I write on this blog is copyrighted, suckas.

I’m having an emotionally charged week. It seems that about half the interactions I have lead to either an argument, a debate, a misunderstanding, or spark an unpredictable emotional reaction (on my part or someone else’s).

I’d guess I’m PMSing, but, praise the gods, I’m no longer a bleeder or a PMSer (thank you, Loestrin–LOVE that stuff).

Yesterday, I couldn’t get the kids’ Pokemon DVD to play on the right track, and both of them started screaming and crying, like I was denying them water in the desert, which ultimately led to me getting frustrated and screaming back. It was a three-person yellfest that ultimately had to be refereed by E-spouse, who actually came down from his office (typically, only blood or his guitar are reason for him to leave workdom).

On the positive side, I’ve had some great heart-to-heart convos over the past few days. The kind that usually exhaust me, but for some reason, didn’t (maturity, yes? perhaps?).

I am, however, pissed at Blogger. I’ve been trying to post all morning. And I still can’t load photos. Yes, Syntax, I want Wordpress. But I’m scared.

So, not sure if Venus is in retrograde or sunspots are throwing out electrically-charged ions, but there’s never a dull moment round here.

Any one else experiencing emotional surges?