Edgy Mama

I’ve seen buttons on a couple bloggies that say something like “Keep the Internet Civil.” Have you seen one? I remember seeing it and wondering what the heck it meant. Seems a bit vague. And most of the folks I know via blogging are highly civil.

Unfortunately, I’m beginning to understand. It seems that there are people out there who want or need to foment hate for NO good reason. Not to get too much into the psycho-babble, but I think the folks who randomly throw hate comments or anonymous e-mail at others are hiding a wide streak of bitter and self-hate that is just NOT healthy. For anyone.

I got blasted by a hater today on Ash’s blog. Don’t all go running over there to see because although he responded at first–by defending me (the chicka obviously didn’t realize she was messing with a close friend of his–not that he would put up with that kind of shit, regardless)– but then, he decided to delete the comment completely because, really, who wants random hate toxifying their bloggie?

Anyway, the comment that sent the hater off was a fun and silly little response to one of Ash’s posts. I mentioned how cute Heath Shuler is (former pro-footballer running for Congress in my district–I call him Heath Bar). I mean, hell, we all know I’m a sucker for a pretty face. So, out of the blue, this chicka posts a comment calling me rude names, insulting my intelligence, and accusing me of venom. What? Nothing worth repeating really, or even getting riled up about, but, even so, it hurt.

I immediately wondered if she would have the guts to say something like that to my face. I doubt it. Which brings us back to the civility issue.

Being able to post, anonymously, to fire off the first mean, jealousy-inspired remark that enters your head–not a good idea, peeps. I’m not entirely innocent here. I’ve done it. Well, once. And I regretted it. Still do.

I NEVER have commented or e-mailed anonymously. I’m not proud of everything I’ve said or written, but dammit, you, and everyone else, knows it was me.

That’s not to say that steath blogging is a bad thing. Some of my dearest blog buddies are stealth–either because of what they write about or family dysfunction or another excellent reason. But those who are dear to me, stealth or otherwise, do not attack other bloggers or commenters.

I’ve had a couple nasty comments left on this blog like steaming piles of dog poop. I immediately scooped them up and deposited them in the trash can. I will not condone that kind of behavior on my sweet little soundboard. Unfortunately, it seems to come with the territory. Some folks have nothing better to do, I guess.

Ironically, I was reading Dooce just yesterday. And she is ironic. She’s not one of my regulars, but because she is the QUEEN, I do check on her every once in a while. She’d written a post where she excerpted a bunch of hate mail she’d received. She really didn’t comment much on what the rude ones said. She didn’t have to. Their messages reeked of self-hate. None of it was really about Dooce. It was about finding a scapegoat, needing to vent and not knowing how, about unleashing, often anonymously, because this has become an easy forum to do so. Made me sad.

If you know where I can get one of those civility buttons, let me know.

And, I’m going to sound like an old hippie here, but let’s spread love, not hate. Kay? Life’s too short to hate.

And okay, I am an old hippie. But a cute one.