As the Edgy Mama crew wings their way to the fine state of New Hampster, we thought it appropriate to educate you, dear readers, about the importance and elegance of this great state. Edgy Mama has spoken, in somewhat disparaging tones, of this “Live Free or Die” state. In case you’re wondering, we think the babe on the right is from New Hampster.
So here goes:
1. Of the thirteen original colonies, New Hampster was the first to declare its independence from Mother England — a full six months before the Declaration of Independence was signed. This was critical to the development of today’s modern hampster trade.
2. New Hampster is the only state that ever played host at the formal conclusion of a foreign war. In 1905, Portsmouth was the scene of the treaty ending the Russo-Japanese War.
3. The first potato planted in the United States was at Londonderry Common Field in 1719. We love potatoes!
4. In 1833 the first free public library in the United States was established in Peterborough. Today, that library is the world’s foremost repository for information about rodents.
5. New Hampshire adopted the first legal lottery in the twentieth century United States in 1963. Damn, we love this state!
6. On December 30, 1828, about 400 mill girls walked out of the Dover Cotton Factory enacting the first women’s strike in the United States. The Dover mill girls were forced to give in when the mill owners immediately began advertising for replacement workers. (Edgy Mama would appreciate the feistiness exhibited in such a move.)
7. The Mount Washington auto road at Great Glen is New Hampshire’s oldest manmade tourist attraction. Numerous hamsters have died tragically on this route.
8. Daniel Webster was a politician and statesman, born at Franklin in 1782. He was known in his day as a mighty orator, a reputation preserved in the Stephen Vincent Benet story “The Devil and Daniel Webster,” in which he beats the original lawyer, Lucifer, in a contract case over a man’s soul. Edgy Mama is working on a follow-up piece, “The Hampster and Daniel Webster.”
9. The karner blue butterfly, lynx, bald eagle, short nose sturgeon, Sunapee trout, Atlantic salmon and dwarf wedge mussel are on the State’s endangered species list. Meanwhile, the hampster thrives.
10. Augustus Saint-Gaudens from Cornish was the first sculptor to design an American coin. His commission became fraught with difficulties related to Saint-Gaudens’ desire for high relief relative to the demands of mass production and use; and also because his initial design featured a rather hairy hampster that nobody really liked.
11. The Bavarian-style hamlet of Merrimack is home to the famous eight-horse hitch, and the Clydesdales maintained by the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. Did we mention that we frickin’ love this state?
12. Sarah Josepha Hale author and journalist who wrote the poem “Mary Had a Little Lamb” in 1830 is from Newport, New Hampshire. The orignial title, “Mary Had a Little Hampster,” was nixed by the author’s wise editor.
To learn more about the great state of New Hampster, go here.
When I was growing up next door in Maine we always heard it referred to as Cow Hampshire. I guess the hampsters multiplied like rabbits after many of the farms were developed out of existence.
I had hampster’s growing up… cute little buggers, but when they procreat - watch out!
Love it, Ash! Learned all kinds of amazing stuff from reading this post.
Good thing Sarah had an excellent editor!