I just stole this di-rectly from Hoss because it’s silly and it totally cracks me up and, not only do I know people who do and think like this, I have FAMILY who do and think like this:
You know you’re a redneck when:
You take your dog for a walk and you use the same tree.
Your boat has not left the driveway for 15 years.
You think “The Nutcracker” is something you do off the high dive.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
Your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list.
You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Your llama breeding isn’t exactly working out.
You have a complete set of salad bowls that say “Cool Whip” on the side.
Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
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You could have at least swiped the llama picture, too.
I should have, Hoss. I couldn’t get the redneck pictures I found to blow up, so they’re hard to see.
You’re much better at this stuff than I am.
Is anyone (other than myself and Rio) noticiing that my comment box is taking a long time to load?
The site speed seems fine to me… however, that video.mov is doing something really bizarre and so that may be causing the delays for people.
The Redneck stuff I have seen before, but it is still funny!
I have noticed that everything on the internet has slowed down for me since I changed my computer name to “Jihad!”
Must look into that.
-J
em - so you’re resting on your laurels now? you win the best writing award and less than a week later you’re regurgitating jeff foxworthy jokes??? (i’m just playin’, you know we love you)
jatkin02 - that’s okay. i changed my old computer’s name to “penus” (it’s a family guy reference) and it died. methinks coincidence, but just in case i still haven’t named my new laptop yet. i figure why bother, it won’t come when i call it anyway…
in Ashvegas, you know you’re a redneck when:
-you’ve got a “No Zoning” sign in your junkyard
-you go to El Chapala and order the “nachos libre” and think you’re funny
-your 15-month-old gets bitten by a rat more than 100 times
Edgy Mama - You steal from the Master? You are a linking fairy, indeed! I hope that the “taxidermist on speed dial” line doesn’t offend a certain gentle soul whom we both know and love.
Do you wrestle?
Funny stuff.
Yes, the download was slow but today it’s seems fine.
ha ha. I just read through these again and realized that I missed this gem that stood out above the rest and made me laugh.out.loud.
“A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.”
some of this hits home more than I would like to say
You move your fridge and discover that the grass underneath is dead.
I grew up in rural Maine and many of these witicisms were well known to me. Some things do transcend the Mason-Dixon line.