January is the bleakest month. Except for February. Luckily, Valentine’s Day livens up February. In January, we get, as my girl calls it, Martin Luther the King day, which, while a worthwhile and laudatory holiday, is not exactly fun. It’s not like we get to open presents or eat candy or dress up like dominatrix.
The primary reason that January is sooooo bleak is that, besides freezing our collective heinies off all month, we must stick to our newly forged New Year’s Resolutions. We know, of course, that by the end of the month, most of our resolve will fall by the wayside. But, particularly at first, before we remember how difficult it is, we try to change.
Eight days, girls and boys. Eight days without a lovely, bubbly, delicious beer. I’ve had approximately four glasses of red wine, which, although it may be better for my heart, does not quench my thirst the way that that hoppy nectar does.
So, what does Ash do? He stops by my home this morning with a growler of amber brew from the Heinzelmannchen Brewery in Sylva, NC. He took a little field trip to the brewery yesterday and, knowing my penchant for the liquid, brought me a growly gift. O temptation, you are an evil mistress. O Ash, PIH (Payback is Hell, for those of you who haven’t been reading closely). So far, I have resisted. For eight whole hours.
Tomorrow, however, E-spouse leaves for a business trip. That will be the ultimate test of my resolve. Can I be a single parent without beer. Can I resist the siren-call of the nectar in my fridge?
In an attempt to face down another of my resolutions, I cleaned out my and my kids’ sock drawers tonight. Let me just say: I hate socks. Not when they’re on my feet, but when I’m attempting to sort and pair them. Why are there always more socks than pairs? How long should I hold on to lonely socks in a desperate attempt to rematch them with their lost mates? How to the lonely socks manage to reproduce, but in different colors? Tonight I decided, with boldness and verve, to THROW AWAY all unmated socks.
But now I need a beer.
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1. Have you heard of “water”?
2. Socks get one week reprieve. If the mate doesn’t show up in the next wash/dry load, it’s a goner. (However, I often wonder: What if it becomes an “in” thing to wear mismatched socks? Those of us who have been throwing them out will be screwed.)
I assume the lack of beer is because of the caloric penalty, and not the alcohol?
If you make it without a beer while Enviro-Spouse is gone - you have far more will power than I will ever, ever hope to achieve!
Yes, SC, it’s the caloric penalty. It’s all about post-holiday slimming.
AF-
Always throw the lone sock back in the drawer. It’s amazing, but sooner or later…it finds a mate. There is no rational explanation.
Socks vex me as well - terribly so.
I decided that I will never again buy socks that aren’t of the same brand. If they stop making my brand, then I will throw out the old ones and go with a new brand that I like equally as well. I pretty much only wear low-rise white socks anyway, you would think it would be easier to match them than they are.
why didn’t you tell me you had quality beer in the PNAV when I stopped by today!!!
I would have taken care of the whole problem for you.
See, I never make resolutions I can’t keep. That means my resolutions are things like, “Gain weight!” or “Drink more!” or “consume more chocolate!” That’s the only way to succeed
Socks are a pain in the butt. WE leave them all to breed in the luadry basket until DH gets too disgusted and lays them out in pairs, hiding the strays so I can’t find them. I’m the ultimate recycler, and I believe that they will be found.
Older cous
2 days later-you still on the wagon? That Ash! I think I’ll go pop a brew… thanks!