Aries Horoscope for February 1

Dear Aries, February will bring career opportunities, lots of cashola, and mucho romance into your otherwise dull life. On February 1, you will wake up rested, despite the residual hacking cough that is plaguing you and your family. You will meet a psychic who will explain squirrel psychology to you in great detail. You will snuggle with Batman, play chess with Kim Possible, and vacuum up thousands of tiny crumbs. You will write a fictional story about sexual dysfunction. You will drink beer without guilt, for it will be February! Don’t make any important life decisions until you have downed at least two drinks, dear, when tipsiness and the horned moon combine to project your astral energy towards fulfillment and a prized inability to think clearly. Happy day, dear Aries!

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25 Responses

  1. S.C. |

    Hmmm, let me see…

    “Taurus, February will bring surprise and humiliation, as a former lover enters your life with a kid she claims is yours. Also, your best friend will back over your dog on his way home after puking on your front porch, and you will get red patches on your skin that you will discover are shingles.”

    F**k.

  2. vicki |

    Wonderfully yummy baby. Great eyes and light in that face.
    Sounds as though you are going to busy today, Edgy. Have fun with Batman. BTW, Currently, the weather in Ann Arbor: A 20 percent chance of rain. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 43. South wind between 15 and 18 mph, with gusts as high as 22 mph. Barometer is 29.64 and steady.(It’s weather report day. Thanks for coming by to say Hi to Bill! )

  3. Neil |

    So, how much is coming true?

  4. Mit_Moi |

    God, I love being an Aries! Although I wonder if the 1st wonderful possiblities can happen without the flemmy cough or a Batman in my life?

    2 scotches tonight before I make any more decisions! Thanks for passing on the ’scope.

    Wishing you a clear night in Ashville so you can see the horned moon!

  5. Kira |

    Where’s the part about not drinking those two beers on an empty stomach?

  6. Quincy |

    That’s so unfair…all I got was this lousy t-shirt!!!!

  7. OldHorsetailSnake |

    We Libras miss out on all the beer parties.

  8. Amanda |

    Makes me thankful I’m an Aries!

  9. poopie |

    Virgo beer parties are kinda fun too ;)

  10. Quincy |

    Edgy Mama must be sleeping off her Horoscope this morning…it’s 1:30 and nothin doin….hope Edgy Duck didn’t turn on her…that’d be a real shame…a real shame indeed…

  11. Autumn |

    My horrorscope should have been the same… but no. I just packed and packed and packed.

    Two days now!

  12. S.C. |

    Horoscope For Feb. 2:

    “Aries - Your run of good luck will turn against you as the kharmic aspects of the moon in Jupiter’s foyer take full effect. You will be severely gored by a horned waterfowl, a consequence of the pre-post-retrograde motion of Venus as the planet reaches it’s descendant ascendencey. Buying stock in Google will be a bad move today.”

  13. Edgy Mama |

    Hush, Q. I’m tired. And I ignored my own advice to Kira and drank a beer on an empty stomach last night. I have become a mega-super lightweight/cheap date!

    I’m trying to decide whether to write about the animal communicator I interviewed yesterday or the fact that someone was an extensive knowledge of sci-fi lit seems to be briefing W before MAJOR speeches.

    Nice one, S.C. I’m thinking you have a new career in the works. Could you send me a new one every day?

  14. Ptaak |

    I vote for the animal communicator! That will be alot more exciting than politics and how it relates to sci-fi.

  15. S.C. |

    You want to put me under that kind of pressure, to perform every day? ;)

    I would’ve voted for the other one, the sci-fi fan with Dubya, but the Animal Whisperer is a fun read, so there ya go.

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    The number of UK mortgages approved increased during February, according to the latest lending figures from the Bank of England.
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