For her seventh birthday, my daughter asked for a frog. A live frog.
When I was a kid, if you wanted a frog, you went down to the creek, caught one, and put it in a coffee can until it escaped or died. These days, if you want a frog, you drive to PetSmart, purchase an exotic rainforest frog, a terrarium, a basking light, special burrowing mulch, a hydrometer, and a bag of calcium-dusted crickets (for strong froggie bones).
In early September, per instructions from my daughter’s best friend, who owned a frog, we purchased a green tree frog and assorted accessories. My girl named her Lilly, in honor of a cousin and because Lilly Pad Frog is an excellent moniker for an amphibian.
Lilly didn’t do much. Mostly she sat. She didn’t like to be held, and, once, when I was cleaning her terrarium, she escaped my hand and attached her sticky little tree frog feet to my face. To my credit, I did not claw her off and fling her across the room. But only because my girl was standing right there.
What I did not realize about frog husbandry was that I’d have to make a weekly trek to PetSmart in order to BUY the previously mentioned dusty crickets. None of the small, nearby pet stores carry crickets. I wanted to try to catch those residing in our dampish basement, but those crickets are bigger than little Lilly. So, once per week, after school, we’d trek out to Wal-Hell plaza. My girl complained about the long drive. I agreed. We tried buying 10 days worth of crickets–Lilly ate them in six. Then she would sat, looking forlorn, for a couple of days, until I took pity on her and went back to PetSmart.
As the weeks passed, I took to complaining about the high cost of frog maintenance. Before heading to PetSmart, I’d call E-spouse and ask him to make absolutely sure that Lilly still respired. Once on the phone, he said, “Bad news. She’s still alive.” Then I heard a loud whacking noise. “Good news. She’s dead,” he said. Funny guy.
After listening to me moan about the frog, Ash suggested that we add a “Frog Toss” event to the Blogger Olympics at my home in November. No, I decided. Cruelty was not the answer. Not yet anyway.
Finally, a few weeks ago, I began talking to my girl about pet responsibility. Who took care of Lilly? Mom. Who drove to PetSmart for crickets every week? Mom. Who changed the special mulch every two weeks? Mom. Being the smart cookie she is, my elder child admitted that, perhaps, she wasn’t old enough to care properly for a green tree frog, and we came to the conclusion that Lilly needed a new home.
Two days ago, I called the Mom of one of my girl’s friends from Reptile and Amphibian Camp, who already has a frog, and she graciously agreed that a second frog would be welcome.
Yesterday, Lilly went to her new home. And my new goal in life? Never to drive to PetSmart again. Oh, and to drink lots of beer over the holidays.
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I can imagine you with a frog on your face…
Good self control.
Maybe you should buy a pet cricket. What do they eat?
See, you’re so much nicer than my mother, who savagely murdered my fish while I was in Australia.
She said they died while she was changing the water, but she always hated those fish…
…I’m with you on Pet Smart…I’ve never been back since they banned my beloved bulldog Quincy from their store…bastards…
Being banned from Pet Smart WAS NOT good for his self esteem, the poor little guy was already reeling from getting us evicted from our apartment…the last thing he needed was futher public trama…
I mean, once you’re labled a public nucance and problem pet it’s hard to get over something like that…then you start thinking that you were born bad…socioligist call this a “self fulflilling prophcey”…
Quincy’s “self fullfilling propcey” attitude is what led to the dog trainer I hired to quit on him…
Now we having a dog phychiotrist visit one every few months the “dog whisperer” as I call and that seems to be going well…
The pointb is…Pet Smart sucks…
Good grief! That was a “toad”ally funny story.
Some how the pets are always our responsibility. Glad you found a good home for Lilly.
I agree, much beer drinking should commence over the holidays!
Ha. I hate Wal-Hell as well.
Thankfully there is this new store called Sprouts by my house and their prices are soooo good, and so I never plan on going back to WH if I can keep from it.
Gifts can be bought online or at Target.
Glad Lilly found a new Pad.
anony shannon, that eyeball thing is really freaking me out…
Beer for the holidays is a good aspiration…you could even, in lieu of presents, send everyone a card saying that you will drink a 6 pack for them…or depending on how many friends you have maybe 1 beer per.
Man, this is all coming together, I’m a genius. Check your mail soon Anne Fitten…
I won’t even backdate to those 8 I had last night …
We now have two pollywogs residing in B.O.Y.’s room. Since W.I.F.E. and B.O.Y. are gone (starting today) for a week, they may meet an untimely end after your story….. Maybe take up residence in our septic system!
did i say “frog toss?” what i really meant was the frog-put. strap the gal onto one of those cannonballs and see how long he lasts. or we could start our own little frog-a-thon by starting her on one side of merrimon and see if he can make it all the way across to the cricket-infested finish line. but alas, lilly has a happy ptaaky home. good for her.
could i borrow the basking light?
Frog toss - we do that down here in Tejas but with dead frogs, flat frogs, they fly like frisbees - ahhhh childhood memories
And the people at PetSmart? You just gonna leave them hanging with all that calcium dust? And no place to sell their resident roaches? Some Christmas present-giver you are…..