I don’t have a writing update this week because I haven’t written a word–in a week! And it wasn’t like I was on vacation in Hawaii or anything. I was in Atlanta, staying at my mother’s house with my two kids, while Enviro-spouse worked (slight exaggeration–he did take most of Saturday and Sunday off).
I did, however, manage to have some fun. Thursday night I went to my cousin’s home to drink beer and catch up with her, my other first cousin, and one of my best (and oldest–not age-wise, but length-wise) friends. The three cousins–myself, Libs, and Woze–are the oldest of our generation and were born within nine months of each other. We grew up in this big extended Southern family. My grandparents hosted Saturday morning breakfast at their home for their four sons and families for most of my life. My grandfather died just over two years ago. He was in his home until the morning of his death at 93 years of age–and he hosted Saturday morning breakfast three days before he died (not that he was cooking–or ever cooked–in fact, I remember him calling me long-distance when I was in college, because I was the only person who seemed to be able to explain to him how to microwave a hot dog). So, this is a long way of saying that we are very close cousins. Libs and Woze live five minutes from each other and have kids around the same ages–and they are not only related, but are best friends.
Anyway, the talk turned to “procedures,” as my cousins called them. Procedures that 40-something and older women like myself are undergoing on a more and more common basis–boob jobs, face lifts, eye lifts, tummy tucks, liposuction and the like.
I’ve always been pretty hard core about what I term “unnecessary” surgery. In fact, I’ve been known to spout off about the mutilation involved in such “procedures” as circumcision, body piercing–even tattoos. However, as I grow older, I seem to be becoming less judgmental (although I’m still fairly militant about circumcision). Woze said, “If something makes you feel good about yourself, you should do it.” And that made me think–well, if it prevents a mid-life crisis, an affair, alcohol abuse, a descent into depression from low self-confidence–yeah, that seems okay. At the same time, I think we have to look at the cultural underpinnings of such “procedures.” There’s the unrealistic pressure to look 30 when you’re 40 and 35 when you’re 50. Cosmetic surgery has become less dangerous, less expensive and more accessible. This has led in turn to younger and younger women (teenagers, even) getting cut to make themselves look better–or to be more desirable. So, I’m feeling less judgmental, but still mixed.
What do y’all think?
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i want to hear your militant argument against circumcision!
(am i opening a can of worms???)
Well, I’m trying not to be judgemental but I still cannot help thinking that an older person trying to look like a younger person looks just like an older person trying to look like a younger person. I wish folks would pay more attention to that “real” sexy organ, the brain. They keep forgetting that one and that “procedure” is much more lasting… ~;^}
AS,
Check out Mothers Against Circumcision’s website: http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/.
They give all my arguments succinctly. I may blog about it at some point, even so.
Cans of worms are what blogging is all about!
AF, thank you for the MAC website link. I checked it out briefly and am really stirred to thinking. When it came time to decide for my son, we didn’t even give it a second thought because “it’s just what is done”. Looking back, we were ignorant and careless with such a big decision. You really should do a post on this.
I’m against unnecessary pain.
I also think that spending vast amounts of money to look younger is a waste.
So, could I interest you in vaginal laser rejuvenation? I see ads for this all the time in pretty glossy mags. I never thought about plastic surgery-at all- until I had some basal cell carcinoma on my face and then I started thinking, wel, say, as long as you’re going to be repairing Crater Lake how about a little nip and tuck? No deal. My plastic surgeon talked me out of it, did a wonderful repair job on the problem at hand and now, a year later, I’m glad he had me go that route. Ya- so things droop. Live with it and smile.
Interesting that none of the men who read my blog have commented on this post. Come on, guys, I’m interested in your opinions as well.
Vaginal rejuvenation sounds like fun–but not with a laser!
I agree, unnecessary pain, cutting, mutilating, nipping and tucking are way too extreme for me, and it seems girls are having these procedures younger and younger before they even reach maturity. It really concerns me when I think of the future and what those procedures may later produce in these young girls lives. Also, the side effects of some of the drugs they are using. It’s scary to think what they consider safe today may be life threatening tomorrow.
I have almost always been militantly anti-plastic surgery. The only notable exception being reconstructive after sudden, bizarre, and traumatic accidents.
I had a friend in college who was stocking a cooler at a 7-11 and a bottle of Dr. Pepper burst hitting her in the eye/face. She was very attractive before and left severely scarred afterwards. Perfect application for PS.
I too began to think that perhaps if a little nip, tuck, lift, suck, injection, or other procedure could help avoid those middle age crisis, affairs, or alcoholisim, then it was worth it.
But then I began to question the world we live in and how we (especially women) are pressured in to cheating the clock. I began to ask myself, who is stronger, me or my society and in particular Madison Avenue.
The answer? For me at least, no PS. If you have a severe health issue and PS will help then I can understand it. That is more “reconstructive” than having a procedure to give you an attribute you never had or shouldnt have at your age.
I’ve decided that I am who I am and it is a reflection on the way God intended me to look. It is also my heritige and the lessons I learned as a youth (diet & exercise). Sure there are people more attractive than me. Sure I’d rather look like Brad Pitt (that dude gets the chicks!). But I will always have to be me and as much as the exterior may change or be changed I will still have to love me for me.
I do want to loose weight and tone up, but that is more for health reasons (cholesterol and blood pressure). It is a question of will power and will be far more rewarding to work for than to plop down $15,000 to have my butt lipo’d.
I’d also like to hear your circumcision views. Initially, I’m all for it, but you seem to be very educated and rational. You might have a good point worth hearing.
I’m a little more observant of my surroundings than the average bear. Call it a job-related survival skill.
I see all manner of women, and men, trying to look a decade younger than they are. I’ve seen 45 year old women dressing like their teenage daughters. I’ve been so tempted to ask if it’s laundry day and did they just borrow something from their daughter for the day?
I won’t have lipo-slicing or be with a woman who would. My wife is perfect just the way she is, although she would disagree. To me, the sexiest thing about a woman is her intelligence and her personality.
I once thought Angelina Jolie was really sexy. Then I heard her speak about political and life issues. Now, I think she’s a waste of beauty.
Circumcision? My parents changed their minds mid-way. Now I have a two-skin. Ha!
Oh, me again, Anne. I had two more thoughts about Plastic Surgery- one I’ll save for your post on circumcision
(so do write it, puleeze) and the other is about one of my favorite charities:
http://www.smiletrain.org/
This is the single most life changing and cost effective piece of plastic surgery done today. In the world. Period. (In my humble opinion, truly). For 200.00 a child’s entire life gets a fix that is priceless. If I were forced to come back as a plastic surgeon, heaven forbid, this is what I would do.
http://www.smiletrain.org
Vicki! That is exactly what I’m talking about. That is 110% acceptable as it is reconstructive and helps not only with the asthetics, but with the mechanics as well. Job well done on isolating an example of appropriate plastic surgery.
I couldn’t resist by post something about plastic surgery on my site. But, being who I am, I wrote it in the style of Dr. Seuss. Enjoy!
How did I miss this post? Oh, yeah, I was busy designing this - http://www.thethompsonbaby.com and the myriad other projects that I am doing right now…
However, this is a great post and it seems really strange to hear that mothers are the one’s defending circumcision - I would think it would be the Dad’s standing up and saying something.
Many studies have shown that men who aren’t circumcised tend to spread certain types of bacterially related diseases.
Most people that I know circumcise because of what the Bible says about circumcision - however, I don’t think that circumcision is something that is as necessary as some might believe it to be.
I realize that not everyone’s beliefs are the same, however, if I had to be circumcised for my beliefs, then I am glad that it was done while I was unaware of it… I have heard of people being circumcised in their adult life and that sounds horrific.
Eddo,
It’s Mothers AGAINST Circumsicion. You’re reading too quickly!